Watermelon Seeds

This is something I wrote back in August of 2006.  I dug it up and decided to repost it here.

 

I love watermelon.  It’s one of my favorite fruits.  Or is it a vegetable?  Anyhoo… As I sit here eating this sweet juicy treat, I can’t fully enjoy it because I have to constantly spit out seeds.  Of course, I could have spent twice as much on a smaller watermelon that is seedless.  BTW, whoever came up with seedless watermelon was a friggin GENIOUS.  And I have come to the conclusion that it really is worth the extra money to not have to worry about biting into a seed or spitting them out and compromising my image of being a “lady”.  So as I eat my watermelon and watch a favorite movie, I start to wonder about other “seeds” in life.  Think about it:  we would all enjoy things in life much better without the little annoyances that seem to come with them.  Rides at Six Flags would be much more enjoyable if the lines weren’t two hours long.  You could get off the ride, jump back in line and get right back on.  Hence the invention of the “Q-Bot”.  With this wonderful invention, you can pay a fee (usually quite hefty) and not have to bear the lines.  You still have to wait, but not crammed in those que lines like cattle being corralled.  And if you purchase the most expensive option, you only have to wait a nominal time.  But as more and more people are using this feature, the wait times start to increase.  Seeds.  Or what about toy stores around Christmas time.  Toy stores are great.  They have every type of toy any child (or grown-up) could ever want.  Children can run amock and ooh and ahhh and demand every toy in the store to their little hearts content.  But around the holidays, Moms are stressed out and trying to control their brood.  Their are 4 million people crammed into that one store that was once upon a time seemed so magical and huge.  Suddenly, it’s become the seventh circle of hell.  Children are screaming, crying, throwing fits in the isles, running around in circles burning off stored up energy from the long ride in the car.  Moms are pulling thier hair out trying to control the children, snatching items off the shelves before another mom can grab it, wandering around with blank looks on their faces trying to find the one important and yet hard to find item on thier dear child’s list to “Santa”.  What was once a fun and enjoyable shopping trip has become somewhat traumatic.  Seeds.  Movies can be a great way to spend an afternoon or evening.  Not so great for first dates (can’t talk!) but a good and fun activity for anyone.  You can even purchase your tickets online in advance in many cases.  You get there, get your tickets, purchase your grossly overpriced candies, popcorn, and drinks and find a comfy seat in the auditorium.  The seats fill up, the lights dim, and the excitement begins.  Then, about 5 minutes into the movie, a small child behind you starts to squirm and squeal.  Mom tries to calm and entertain the child, further distracting you from the film.  You want to turn around and glare at the little urchin and his busy mom who is ruining your fun.  But good manners prevent it.  Just as Mom gets the little one quieted down, a couple of teenagers in the row in front of you start whispering and then giggling loudly.   Or if it’s a scary movie, they squeel every time something startling happens.  Or how about Shauntay and her three girlfriends who want to holler at the screen “Girl!  Don’t go in there!” or “Honey, you know that man is gonna get you!” or “noooo you didn’t!”  any time the heroine of the film enters a room, doesn’t look behind her, or does something brainless.  Seeds.
     If only we could all develop seedless watermelons of life.  But then, what would we have to complain about?

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