Warped self-image?

It seems that in today’s society, women are pressured to be super-skinny.  I’ve blogged on that before.  I personally like my curves.  I don’t want to be “skinny”, just thinner.  I look in the mirror, and I really don’t think I look bad.  That’s most days.  Then there are days, especially when I’m clothes shopping, that I feel as big as the broad side of a barn.  There is one exception to that rule.  This past weekend I went shopping for a wedding gown.  Most of them that I tried on, looked good on me.  I couldn’t believe it.  There were two in particular that were quite flattering to my curves.  Since when is white flattering on us big girls?  All the models in the magazines and on-line are always super skinny so you just can’t tell if you like a wedding gown or not until you see it on YOUR figure.  So I look in the mirror in this big floofy dress, and I like what I see.  Ignore the fact that I’m fighting off an anxiety attack and a case of hyperventillation.  Focus on the dress.  Holds my boobs in, no cleavage showing, my waist looks tiny, and the skirt actually hides my hips.  Can I wear it every day? Seriously.  Why can’t ALL clothes be that flattering?  But I digress… the reason for this post… focus.  I look online (mainly eBay) at dresses that would fit my measurements.  Toss out all the ones that are still packed in boxes or lying flat for pictures.  The women (bless them) who actually put photos of themselves wearing the dresses on there, who match my measurements, look soooo much bigger than me!  Its frustrating.  I look in the mirror and I don’t see THAT.  I even asked Bob, do I look like that?  If so, tell me, I’ll just stop eating now.  He swears that I do not, and that I “carry my weight well.”  Ok, but I’m looking at measurements, and I know I did them correctly, and I do not look like those women.  They look HUGE to me.  I look in the mirror and I see nice curves.  Not huge.  So what’s wrong with me? Most women look in the mirror and see huge, when in fact, they have nice curves.  Leave it up to MY warped mind to give me an unrealistic self-image.  But I solumnly swear not to wear spandex, hot pants, spaghetti straps, or sequins (at least until I lose 40 pounds lol.)  I’m not that warped.

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