Season of Love? More like Season of Heartbreak…

It’s Spring time!  The birds are singing and building nests.  The bees are happily pollinating the flowers and fruit trees.  My newly adopted doggie is in heat and my neighbor’s dog is trying non-stop to hump her.  So with all this love in the air, why am I feeling so blue?  I should be singing with the birds.  Alas, here I sit, alone, staring at my computer screen, feeling sad.  These past few days have been tough on me.  I’ve had to “let go” of a dear friend.  I am very sad to see that friendship end.  It was necessary for both of us.  The old adage “If you love something, let it go…” comes to mind.  And it infuriates me.  I do not believe in letting go of something/someone I love. I’m a fighter.  I would rather face the scourge of hell kicking and screaming than to passively walk away.  However, that is exactly what I’ve done.  It hurts like hell.  Since when does heartbreak cause physical pain?  The other side of that saying is “.. if it’s meant to be, it will come back to you.”  Maybe so.  I’m not holding my breath.  I’m mourning because I truly believe it’s lost.  I feel like I’ve given up.  I also feel like I have no choice.  Helpless isn’t a word in my vocabulary. But that’s how I feel right now.  My heart is breaking into tiny pieces and I’m helpless to stop it.  I’ve been writing Haiku in my head all day today.  I won’t bore you all with more of that here.  But it seems to soothe me somewhat.  I know that time heals all wounds.  I if I had a time machine I would jump forward a few months so that I could bypass this grievous time and move on.  Unfortunately, I lack a flux capacitor and a Delorean.

1 Comment (+add yours?)

  1. B
    Apr 14, 2010 @ 00:08:59

    Never lose hope. All is not lost. It just seems like it. Trials and tribulation always make the victory so much sweeter. All you need is just a little patience…;)

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