Tink You Veddy Mooch

Get ready… soap box time!!!

I had to call my auto finance company today.  After weaving my way though a long line of “press one” for this and “press two” for that, I finally got an actual human on the phone.  She said her name was Jennifer.  She sounded middle-eastern.  I told her that my insurance company had written the repairs check out to me and the finance company and I needed instructions for how to handle it.  She responded with “I will be happy to assist you with this issue” (like reading from a script), then she said “I’m sorry maam, can you repeat that more slowly?”  Ok, yall.  I’m SOUTHERN.  I already speak pretty slowly according to the rest of the country.  So I stated, again, a little slower, what I needed.  She said “I’m sorry maam, I do not understand.  Repeat again?”  At this point I feel my ears getting hot.  I said VERY slowly and VERY clearly, as if speaking to a three-year-old, what I needed.  This went on for TEN minutes!  At one point, I demanded that she find someone to speak to me who spoke ENGLISH as their first language.  She said “I speak English well, maam.”  Um… NO YOU DO NOT!  If you did, we wouldn’t be having this problem!  And I don’t believe for a minute that your name is “Jennifer!!!!”  It’s probably Habibah or something.  No, I didn’t say these things to her, I was just thinking them very loudly in my head.  Anyway, I FINALLY got her to understand me.  Then she tells me I have to endorse the check, mail it to them, and then fax the final repair bill.  THEN they will send a check directly to the repair shop.  After that, I can get my car back.  I don’t friggin THINK so!  I tried to explain to her that I cannot get my car repaired until I have the money.  I need my car back ASAP.  Not two weeks from now when they decide to process my check!  She was insistent and refused to listen to anything else I had to say.  I finally just got the fax and address from her and hung up.  I was on my cell phone, so that means I just pushed the “end” button.  Not nearly as satisfying as slamming down an old phone and making a loud clattering noise in their ear.  Why people?  WHY can’t we have ENGLISH speaking people in customer service positions at American companies?  Is it too much to ask?  A language barrier is extremely frustrating for both parties.  I can’t get my point across and the other person can’t understand me.  My southern drawl isn’t so bad that I’m hard to understand.  I cancelled my internet service with MSN about 10 years ago because of this same issue.  Anytime I called customer service or technical support, I got a foreigner (most likely a company contracted out of India) on the phone who didn’t understand a word I said and only gave responses that sounded like they came out of a book and had nothing to do with my complaint.  I’ve posted before about how customer service in this country has gone to shit.  This just further proves my point. There IS no customer service.  Just an idiot with a phone who barely speaks English.  And don’t get me started on people who move to this country and won’t learn our language…  I refuse to learn their language.  This is AMERICA and we speak English.  Learn OUR language or go home!!

Stepping down off my soap box before I go off on another tirade….

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