Go ahead, laugh at my pain

I know it’s been for-ev-er since I blogged last. However, I just did something incredibly stupid and it’s too long to post as a status on Facebook, so I dusted the cobwebs off the old blog. What’s this Stupid Thing (yes, it deserves proper capitalization) that I did? Welllll lemme tell ya.

A little over a month ago I had sinus surgery to remove a sphenoid cyst. No big deal, it was simple and I’ve been headache-free for weeks now. A miracle! After surgery, I had to flush and rinse my sinuses every hour or two to get all the yuck out. I’ll spare you those details. Anyway, I opted for the squeezie bottle rather than the netti pot because I wanted to REALLY get in there, you know what I mean? You mix a tiny packet of salty mixture with distilled water and then warm it up (I just sat it in hot water in the sink for a few minutes). I tried not warming it. That was not pleasant. So, yes, I’ll wait the three or so minutes to let it get lukewarm. After the required two weeks of constant sinus flushing, I decided to keep doing it at least once per day because wow what a difference it’s made. Now, I tell you all that, so I can tell you about my Stupid Thing.

I ran out of the tiny salt mixture packets yesterday. You see where this is going already don’t you? I’ve had a bad cold for a week now. I neeeedddd my sinus flush! I can’t breathe through the right side of my nose and that drives me nuts. I forgot to stop at Wal-Mart today. I was getting ready for bed and I decided, what can it hurt? I’ll just rinse with distilled water. It just won’t be salty. So I did the usual hot water bath for the sinus rinsing bottle thing. Leaned my head over the sink and proceeded to rinse the left side first.  HOLY SHIT!!! WHY IS WATER SETTING ME ON FIRE??? Y’all, I can’t describe that pain accurately. I was leaning over the sink, head down, snot hanging from my nose, tears streaming from my eyes, silently squealing. Hubs is asleep in the next room and he’s been a grouchy bear. Definitely didn’t want my Stupid Thing to wake him up. Ok so after a minute that felt like an eternity, the pain subsided. I thought, did I get the water too hot? I tested it on my wrist, nope, just right. So here’s where it gets really Stupid. I decided to give it another try. This time in the right nostril. Guess what? More hangy-down snot, lots more tears, more silent squealing. But there was snot coming out y’all! So what did I do? I gritted my teeth and did it AGAIN. This is how desperate I was to relieve myself of the stuffed up nose. But, alas, I just couldn’t take anymore. I glanced up into the mirror and was a little shocked. Who was that lady with the red tear-streaked face, crazy hair, and squinched up eyes liking back at me? She was scary looking! Oh wait, that was just me, post Stupid Thing. I blew my nose and opted for the antihistamine nasal spray. Two minutes later, opened up fully and no pain. Go figure.

So, if you have a netti pot or saline rinse of any type, please take it from me and don’t do the Stupid Thing! It’s not worth it!! Also, never use tap water, that’s just asking for other troubles!

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