Confessions from The Crazy Lady =)

I will eventually get back to quilting and update you, whomever might be interested, on the progress of the baby quilt for my brand new neice.  Right now, I have a lot going on in my life.  While quilting may help ease some stress, I have found that I just do not have the patience for it.  I need my mind to be active, engaged, and, at times, distracted.  Quilting does none of those things for me.  Usually, when I’m quilting or doing some other task that doesn’t require much of my active attention, that’s when my mind wanders and I can think about things.  I would rather not think right now.  When I start thinking about everything that is going on, I get stressed out.  When I get stressed out I get cranky.  And eventually, depressed.  I just do not want to go there right now.  Luckily, I have some amazing friends who have helped keep my spirits high and my attitude out of the ditch.  If they are reading this, they know who they are and I can’t thank them enough for caring about me the way they do. They keep me sane without even realizing it and I couldn’t live without them.  Ok, a couple of them do realize it lol.

So while I’m sitting here avoiding contemplating my inner thoughts and feelings, I’ll explore more fun things to think about.  Like some recent confessions, or rather, observations about myself, that I have made.  I will share them with you, too, my dear readers, because I have no shame, apparently.

  • I can’t dance.  Cannot. I’m all white.  I have no rhythm or skills in this area but I still dance like nobody is watching and enjoy every second of it. That’s what life is about, right?
  • I am a great driver.  No really, I am!  *snort*  I have only had one wreck that was my fault and I ran into a barbed wire fence.  That hardly counts as a wreck! Really!  And just because I can’t find my way out of a parking lot, or back up straight, or parallel park doesn’t mean that I can’t drive.  I backed over a lawn mower one time because I couldn’t see it. It shouldn’t have been parked behind my van. Totally not my fault.  Curbs just shouldn’t be in some places.  I’m not the only one that runs over them, come on.  Just because I do not have good depth perception and have run my side mirrors into the mailbox and stuff doesn’t make me a bad driver either.  Yall agree with me, right?
  • I have no sense of direction.  None.  See the above statement about finding my way out of a parking lot.  It should also be noted that if I turn more than twice, I’m practically lost.  I cannot remember where I came from or where I’ve been.  I need landmarks when given directions.  Telling me to turn North on such-and-such street will only confuse me.  Tell me to look for the big white house with red shutters and turn right, towards some other object.  I will feel reassured that I’m actually going in the right direction.  Now, when trying to find my way back, I’m still going to be totally lost.  GPS is the BEST invention EVER!  However, it does not help one find a way out of a parking lot. I figured that out recently as well.  My van has a built-in compass and I’m telling you, that doesn’t even help me.  This is why I will not go hiking alone.  I would be lost, crying and pitiful. I would probably only be about 100 yards from civilization, but I would never figure that out because I would have NO idea where I was. Totally not kidding.
  • I am slightly ADD.  I do not have a professional diagnosis on this or anything, but that’s just gotta be it.  I can’t sit still for very long. I’ve gotten up numerous times while trying to write this blog, actually.  It’s difficult for me to sit through a movie at home.  My mind and my body want to be active.  I will keep getting up and doing things.  I have been known to play a game or mess around on the computer while watching a movie because I feel like I need to be doing something.  In the movie theater, the movie tends to hold my attention, though.  Unless it’s really long and really boring.  Then I’m sitting there DYING.  I’ll cross and un-cross my legs, reposition myself in the seat, turn around and check out the crowd behind me… I’m like a toddler when I get bored during a movie.  I’m one more boring scene away from making faces at people for entertainment.  I am able, miraculously, to pay attention and be still during my 4-hour-long classes.  They hold my attention, most of the time, because I am there to learn and I’m fascinated by my chosen field.  If I was in something boring, like, oh, English Comp. 101, for example, I would have a very hard time paying attention or staying focused.  I find my mind wandering at the most inappropriate times, too.  It’s not that I’m bored! I just can’t help it.  I sometimes miss what a friend has said to me and have to ask them to repeat it because I’ve gotten distracted by something.  Or I will give them a polite “uh huh” out of habit and they know I’m not paying attention because that wasn’t an appropriate response.  Bless their hearts though, my friends just understand that I’m “not right.”
  • I’m just weird about some things.  I have too many quirks to list here.  If I did, you people would think I’m psycho, I’m sure.  Just know that I have strange ways when it comes to certain things.  Like my personal space, for example. I can feel a couple of my friends rolling their eyes right now because they know exactly what I’m talking about. I will freak out in a crowd.  Too many people in close proximity to me makes me crazy.  Really.  That’s just one example.  I’ll leave it at that.
  • I have a twisted sense of humor. I find humor in things that most people wouldn’t think are funny.  I laugh at myself quicker than anyone else I know.  Along the same lines, I am a smartass.  I was born a smartass, I will die a smartass.  It’s who I am. If a twisted sense of humor and smartass wit offend you, then you would not like to be around me.  I’ve always said that you either love me and laugh with me or I offend the hell out of you.  There seems to be no grey area.  I’m ok with that.  I’ve found that the people who are offended by me are mostly people who do not have a sense of humor.  I can, and do, censor myself at appropriate times, don’t worry.  When I’m in a relaxed environment, around friends, and especially when I’m drinking adult beverages, however, my filter is turned off and there is no telling what you’re likely to hear come out of my mouth.  You’ve been warned.
  • About that censoring thing: I still can’t get away with anything.  I am very expressive without even trying.  People who know me well will tell you that I don’t have to say a word.  Whatever I’m thinking will be written all over my face. My friends find this quite entertaining, let me tell ya.  I will keep my mouth shut in an attempt to be polite, but my true feelings are reflected in the expression on my face.  I do not do this on purpose.  I can’t help it.  I’ve even tried to have a blank expression. It’s just not possible for me.  I would be the worst poker player on the planet.  People have burst out laughing at me before because of a look on my face that I wasn’t even aware I was making.  For this reason, I do not lie. What’s the point? I can’t get away with it.  Nevermind that I’m going to forget I told a lie and then eventually tell on myself later, anyway.  That is, if I was successful at fooling someone in the first place.

Ok, that’s enough confessions from The Crazy Lady for one day!  If you didn’t know me before, maybe this helps you understand the person behind the blog just a bit more.  Or you may just stop reading my blog because you think I’m psycho.  Either way, confession (and reflection) are good for the soul and ego.  Just when you think you’re awesome (which I totally am, by the way), take a step back and list some of your quirks or faults.  Humble yourself.  And don’t forget to laugh about it.

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August already

It’s hard to believe that it’s August already.  In some ways, I feel as if the past year has flown by.  In others, it seems to have dragged out for a long time.  This weekend, Hurricane Leila turns 3 years old.  I’m glad to be rid of the “terrible twos” but sad to see her growing up on me.  I have almost one whole year of college behind me, and one more year to go.  Red will be beginning 7th grade in a couple weeks.  Wow I’m getting old.

The past week has been a rough one for me.  In the interest of saving you from my boring whining, I’ll keep the details to myself.  It was just very stressful, mentally and emotionally draining, and yet another test of my will.  I had a little pity party for myself, pulled up my big girl panties, and got over it.  Back to the crazy life that is mine.

As I mentioned last week, I am going to TRY to take out some “me time” each day.  Or at least a few times a week. Tonight I worked on some frustrating homework.  I decided I’ve had enough and went outside for a breather.  I thought I would share my relaxing time with you so that you might enjoy it as well.

I walked outside onto my porch in my socks and scrubs.  I laid down on the little wicker loveseat that is my favorite sitting spot and stared up at the stars.  There was no breeze to stir the warm, humid air on this sultry summer night.  If it weren’t for the security light right behind me, I would have been able to see many more stars in the clear, inky night sky.  But I could see enough.  I closed my eyes for a moment to absorb my surroundings.  Cicadas singing, a neighbor’s air conditioning cycling on, a dog barking in the distance, and then a train horn blowing.  I then tried to think of the nearest train tracks.  As I stared up at the twinkling stars, I had many fleeting thoughts:

I wish I knew more constellations other than the Big Dipper
I wish that security light was turned off
What is that bright star over there?  Oh nevermind, it’s a plane.
I thought of The Lion King and the discussion that Pumba, Timon, and Simba had about the stars.
The Lion King made me think of an ex boyfriend from a hundred years ago who took me to see that movie.
Thinking of the ex beau made me smile.
Then I thought of the current one and a sigh escaped me.
If it wasn’t so humid, it would be really nice outside tonight.
I wonder who else is out stargazing at this moment?
Hmm, didn’t I have a fabric once upon a time that was called “Stargazers”?  Or maybe it was a quilt design I saw…
I really should start quilting on the baby quilt that’s been sandwiched and ready for a couple weeks now

And then a Neanderthal sabertooth mosquito bit me, so I decided to come back inside.  Leave it to a dang bug to ruin my solitude and reflection.  Sometimes it’s good to just let your mind wander.  You’ll be surprised where your thoughts take you.  I also decided to come back inside because I was feeling drowsy.  I really don’t need to fall asleep on the porch.  Not only would I wake up with a very stiff neck and back, I would most likely be carried off, or sucked dry, by the aforementioned mosquitos, and my neighbors would surely have something to say about me sleeping on the porch.

At least I got a few good minutes of quiet time in for the night.  I hope you did too!

A Little Me time

The stress of just being me has finally caught up with me.  I’m in desperate need of some “me time.”  In an attempt to escape my children for a little while and regain some sanity, I retreated to the back porch.  I called my best friend and vented my frustrations for a little while.  After I got off the phone with her, I actually took a few minutes to enjoy the peace and quiet.  As much as I hate living in the middle of nowhere, being in the country does have it’s redeeming qualities.

I was sitting on the padded bench on my back porch.  I could hear thunder in the distance.  There was a nice cool breeze and the smell of freshly mown grass in the air. I closed my eyes to enjoy the moment.  It started to sprinkle and I just had to smile.  I sat there, face upturned, getting damp, waiting for a downpour.  I thought to myself, it’s been years since I played in the rain.  Why not?  But, alas, no rain.  The sprinkles stopped after only a few minutes.  The smell of rain hung in the air and the cicadas resumed their monotonous melody.  I looked up to the sky and could see a break in the clouds just overhead.  The stars twinkled happily as the sky to my left was lit periodically by lightening.  I sat there for a few more minutes enjoying the cool breeze, the sounds of cicadas, and thunder..  Those few minutes to myself did wonders for my mood.

But I still need a break.  I think taking a few minutes out for myself each day would make a difference, but it’s not enough.  I just keep reminding myself that life will be much better in about a year.  After I’ve graduated from college.  I think.  I hope…

Batting and Quilting Questions

Hello out there Blogland.  I hope some other quilters stop by because I have some questions…

I’ve always used 100% cotton batting.  The only time I used a poly batting was in a bed quilt for a friend.  I love the heavy feel of cotton batting but the poly sure was easier to quilt!  I have a couple questions regarding batting.

Are the poly, cotton, blends, and wool all about the same warmth? Does the loft play a part in the warmth?

As for the quilting, this may be a super silly question but I’ve been wondering for a while.  Does it affect the warmth of a quilt the more flatly you quilt it?  I’ve been following quite a few blogs and admiring different styles of quilting.  It seems that most of the “modern” quilters I see stipple or quilt some other design on the quilt that really flattens the whole thing out.  And I do mean FLAT.  It seems to me that when you flatten it out like that, you leave very little space for the batting to trap air, therefore, taking away it’s ability to trap warmth.  Am I wrong in that line of thinking? Or does it make it more warm because it’s more dense?  I personally don’t like a heavily quilted quilt.  It makes it stiff feeling to me.  I like my quilts lightly quilted and soft. Plus, the actual quilting is my least favorite part and I would like to do as little work as necessary lol.

It’s getting cold here and I’m thinking about the warmth of quilts more so than the prettiness of them.  Can you tell?

Red’s Kitty Quilt is on her bed, but she’s been tossing it in the floor (can you see me scowling?) and sleeping under a fleece blanket.  It made me wonder if the fleece is warmer than the quilt??  And BTW, the Kitty quilt has THIS batting in it.  My bed has a comforter on it and it’s very warm.  I want a quilt on my bed, but I have yet to actually make myself one.  And I wonder if my hand-made quilt will be as snuggly warm as the comforter?

Any opinions from my fellow quilters?

And since I believe posts are boring without photos…

What? I'm helping...

Stress, be gone!

I love how things always seem to work themselves out.  I’m quite an impatient person.  I’ve blogged on this before.  I tend to want to force things to go my way or make things happen quicker than they need to.  I’m sure there is a word to describe my affliction, but I’m tired and I can’t think of anything.  Some of the things I’ve been stressing about lately have just worked themselves out.  I got a job.  That solves quite a few of my problems right there lol.  I’ve been worrying about a friend and how I would handle a certain situation and that seems to have solved itself as well.  My van is still broken, but hey, with my new job, I’ll be able to get it fixed soon!  I’ve got a nice daycare/preschool picked out for Hurricane and she’ll start the first of September.  That solves the no-sharing and potty training issues.  Of course, I’ll still have to work with her on potty training, but so far, I’ve had NO luck getting her interested in it.  Lets see… what else… hmmm… I guess that is it as far as stressful stuff goes.  I should listen to my friends when they tell me “It will all work out in time!” because it almost always does.  I just have a hard time letting go of my worries and letting it happen on its own.

Oh, and I forgot to mention this new pillowcase dress I made for Hurricane.  She wore it at her birthday party.

Hurricane's Bday Dress

So there.  A post and a pic.  Not totally boring.  I hope lol.

Patience… Not just a song by G&R

The word of the day is “Patience.”

Patience is something I don’t have much of.  I’m an impulsive person.  When I decide I want something, I want it yesterday.  Once I’ve made up my mind about something, that’s it.  This is good in some ways, not so much in others. I don’t let go of my impulsive ideas or wants easily. I’m tenacious, hasty, impetuous, and sometimes downright cantankerous when it comes to getting what I want.

I need to learn PATIENCE.  I need to learn to take my time with things.  I need to learn not to give into my compulsions.  Take some time to figure out WHY I just have to have said item right now.  Why can’t it wait?  Why can’t I learn more about whatever it is I’ve decided I want before I take that leap?  Are you lost? Need some examples?

  • Last year I bought a brand spanking new car because I had to have it.  I didn’t NEED a new car.  I just got the itch and damn wanted one.  I did look around for the “right” car and finally bought the one I’m driving now.  Had I made myself wait a month or two, I believe the itch would have worn off.  Maybe not, but at least I wouldn’t be having a major case of buyers remorse.
  • Dixie.  Need I say more? lol  I saw that sweet little face and just HAD to bring her home.  She ended up NOT working out for me and I was out over $200 and an entire wardrobe of shoes.  Had I fostered her first, I would have saved myself at least some cash maybe a few pairs of shoes.

There’s more… I’ll spare you the details.  I’m currently working through another impulsive “want” right now.  I keep reminding myself that I need to be PATIENT.  Things will work out the way they are “supposed to” if I just sit back and relax and let life happen.  Right?  Right?

Dirt Therapy

Today was a gorgeous spring day.  Clear blue skies, temperature around 80 degrees, nice slight breeze, and not as much pollen as there has been lately.  I’ve had a migraine for two days, but I couldn’t stand another minute cooped up in my house.  I took some pain meds and headed out.  I spent the day today with my mom “playing in the dirt.” I dug a new flowerbed for her next to her carport and transplanted some of her gladiolus and mums there. Then I helped her clean out two of her other flowerbeds. We also drug out an old tub and filled it with dirt and extra gladiolus bulbs. I thoroughly enjoy planting and playing in the dirt. I love yard work. I love being out in the sunshine. I don’t enjoy it so much in August when it’s 100 degrees outside, but right now, it’s perfect. I love to sit back and enjoy my flowers and feeling proud that I made things pretty and grow. I consider doing yard work my “me time” because I can think about things that have been bothering me. I can work with my hands without concentrating so much on it with my mind.  I have worked out many frustrations while weeding flowerbeds. At the end of the day I’m sunburned, sore, tired, and most times, relaxed. It’s my own form of therapy. I didn’t get anything worked out or solved today. I don’t really feel much better, but I enjoyed doing it.  I’ll be back out there tomorrow…

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